Another fight story has been mailed to me. This time from Sherdog -
I want to tell about when I laid the smack down at The Golden Corrall about 3 months ago, but first some background information. I'm the most respected internet ultimate fighting journalist o ut there and my site along with The Underground are the only 2 that matter. One of the perks that come with my job are that I get free tickets to the UFC, free plane tickets and free hotel, all paid for by The UFC promoter Dana White. This is all because my internet promotion of The UFC is very valuable to them.
Now I have a certain routine every time I travel to Vegas for the UFC. First I hookup with a little internet squeeze of mine named Annabelle. She's a groupie for some of the fighters, but I always get first servings of that dish. I also hookup and do interviews with most of the fighters. I'm treated first class everywhere and everyone know me.
Abut a year ago I was having a hot dog with a few of the fighters a few hours before the event. We were standing on the steps of the arena beside the seating. It was just starting to fill up at that time. Out of nowhere a guy comes up to me and says, "Hey Spyware Dog, what's up?"
Some trolls on fringe forums like Fightsport like to insinuate that I have spyware on my site which is a lie. Up until that time no one had ever been dumb enough to do it to my face. You've got to understand, I'm 350 pounds. When I'm wearing a loose shirt a lot of people mistake that weight for fat, when in reality it's mostly muscle. I'm built like Kingpin from Spiderman. My best ever bench is 450.
So this guy makes his smartass comment and smiles and starts to walk off. I turned him around and unleashed a thunderous backhand to the chops. This was Gunsmoke Marshal Dillon style. I'm talking backhand from the ground and then full force with knuckles. Like on Gunsmoke, this twerp went down when he was hit with it. The blow made such noise people were turning around from 20 rows up. He was covering his face with both hands like he might have been crying.
"Anymore more remarks about my website?" I said.
He stood up and literally ran away. Chuck Liddell who was standing nearby said, "Damn!" and laughed. I alsmost felt kind of sorry for the guy. He had obviously been clowning on the internet for years with this type of juvenile behavior and the lines started to blur for him. He started to confuse the internet with the real world with dangerous consequences.
Fast forward to the last UFC. I'm hanging out with Annabelle and it's a few hours before the event and I'm hungry. I decide we'll got to the Golden Corral because I'm in the mood for some all you can eat. I'm especially in the mood for to stack up on their steak house steak.
So I walk up to dish myself some steak and I notice there's only 2 left. As I'm heading in that direction the fat blimp wearing shorts runs over to the platter like he's competing for The Olympics.
As I see him about to take the last 2 I say, "Those are mine."
He says, "First come first serve. Just wait for the next batch. Ha-ha".
Obviously he thinks it's a game. I go ask when the next batch will be ready. The manager says in about 20 minutes because it's slower after lunch hour. I tell him I don't have time and he starts saying sorry sir and all that. At this point I was steaming beause that's mainly why I went there. I ended up making do with the rotisserie chicken and the meatloaf and the pork roast. It was good and all, but there was only 1 thing that was going to satisfy me - revenge.
After I'm done I wait in the parking lot for about 10 minutes for the fat fuck to finish up. He finally comes out. He's got a fat heffer with him and 2 little kids. I get up in his face.
"There's one thing you should never do," I say "and that's fuck with a man's buffet. You should have at least split the 2 steaks."
"I've got nothing to say to you," he said.
He tried to walk past me but I threw a hard right hand to the belly. He fell to his back and started moaning like a beached whale. His wife tried to grab me, but Annabelle put her in a reverse headlock.
"Don't ever let me catch you at The Golden Corral again fatboy! Your fatass needs to start eating healthier anyway." I said.
He begged for mercy as his kids cried. I went back to the hotel and got my freak on with Annabelle, but I couldn't quit laughing at the way that fat fuck looked after I decked him. Maybe it will motivate him to train something other than his buffet skills. By humiliating him I may have added years to his life by motivating him to train and maybe he won't croak in his early 40's like Kirby Puckett. If you look at it that way I'm really those kids heroes. I'd probably do that shit more often if I wasn't worried about going to jail.
