Welcome to Beston's No Holds Barred! The page was originally known as Thingvold's No Holds Barred. It was started years ago by Shogun of Harlem as a joke in dedication of the Internet's greatest 'Trash Talker', Shaun Andrew Thingvold, then years later the site was rededicated to Australian MMA legend Luke Beston. I want to make it clear that the only affiliation Shaun has with this page is when he sends us an e-mail or posts on the forum. If you are looking for him then leave a message for him on the 'Message Board'. Other than that we can not help you in any attempt to get a hold of him.

The news provided here is a little different. There are tons of news sources on the internet and if you don't know where to go then check out our links page. What we attempt to bring here is stuff that is not found at other places, but what we think might be interesting for Martial Art fans (and a little funny). Thanks for supporting us!

Here is a 'No Holds Barred' Biography of the legend, Shaun Andrew Thingvold. Read how this man became the greatest legend on the internet. Click Here

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Saturday, September 27, 2003

Couture Ends The Tito Ortiz Era 





posted by T   4:09 PM

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Snowhazell's Gender Mystery Solved 

Amadeus, a long-time friend of Snowhazell, has provided the information that many have suspected for quite a while: Snowhazell is a she-male. Explaining why he chose now to reveal this, Amadeus wrote, "i know i know i've shattered all yer fantasies but i thought it was time you all knew the truth. i've known her longer than anyone.... if anyone here would know the truth it's me. i know you want to believe she's not so you won't have to admit to yer sick romo fantasies but i'm sorry it's true."

This revelation is not expected to interfere with the average OGer's fantasies about Snowhazell. Some speculate that it may, in fact, enhance many of the OGer's desire to have sex with him/her.

OG she-male Snowhazell


posted by T   11:56 PM

Machine May is still MIA 

The absence of Machine May from his home forum MMA.tv (where he rung up 36,478 posts in 10 months) is now in its 5th week. May has been away since boasting of working as a hired gun for million dollar businesses. The fallout from that particular mistruth was more intense than what May usually generates after one of his whoppers and, as a result, Machine May is on a hiatus. Stay tuned to LukeBeston.tk, and we'll keep you updated on the return of the internet MMA community's biggest boob.

May vs. Drago

posted by T   3:35 PM

Did you miss my Erin Toughill Interview? 

If you missed the interview with Erin Toughill, we will be republishing here in a week or so. Come back to check it out.

posted by Shogun of Harlem   3:36 AM

Beston's Bitch of the Second 

The best way to get people to come here is post a pic of some chick half naked. So here is our Bitch of the Second - Alexa Rae. (Note we won't have nude pics - so jack it some place else).










posted by Shogun of Harlem   3:22 AM

Friday, September 19, 2003

A little known fact about corn! 

No matter how well you chew it - it almost always comes out whole.

posted by Shogun of Harlem   1:14 PM

Aaron finds his true calling!!! 

Is he the creator of the Gay Grappling Page or a famous trumpet player? What trumpet is he playing? Are these two things related? Of course they are - the guy is playing the Meat Trumpet! Here are some great quotes:

"I would like to recommend forum member Aaron as a mod for the Soundground forum, anyone that knows that much about trumpet playing would be a great asset. I'm sure his knowledge and "professional" expertise will benefit everyone..."
- Souljacker

Professional? So, he does it for money.

"Although I did play trumpet for 10 years, and did make earn a substantial income for a few of those years, I wouldn't have classified myself as a professional."
- Aaron

He lives in California, where it is not legal. Now, in Nevada he would be a pro!


posted by Shogun of Harlem   1:04 PM

Sunday, September 14, 2003

From the UG archives 


From: Machine May
Date: 11-Nov-93 01:25 AM
Member Since: 01-Jan-92
4866 Total Posts

All right guys, time to man up and make your picks. Here's mine.

UFC 1: THE BEGINNING


Quarterfinals
Royce Gracie d. Art Jimmerson - I like Jimmerson here. The only place I've heard of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is ad's in Blackbelt and comic books. A real boxer and street fighter like Jimmerson should take his head off.

Gerard Gordeau d. Teila Tuli - I respect Savate as a fighting art, but there's too much size advantage for the sumo wrestler. Tuli by ko.

Ken Shamrock d. Patrick Smith - I saw Pat Smith win the Sabaki tournament. He should have no problem with this pro wrestler wannabee.

Rosier vs. Frazier - both talented brawlers. I like Rozier.

Semifinals

Jimmerson vs. Tuli - I will go with Tuli because of his size.

Smith vs. Frazier - I'll go with Smith in a competitive fight.

Finals

Tuli over Smith - I see Tuli dominating this tournament. You're going to be calling me Nostradamus after all these come true.


From: Shootfighter
Date: 14-Sep-03 01:27 AM
Member Since: 01-Jan-93
3607 Total Posts

Good picks, but I think Rozier might take it.

From: bobsappfan
Date: 11-Nov-93 01:33 AM
Member Since: 27-Nov-92
21593 Total Posts


I like Jimerson.

From: Sabrutat
Date: 11-Nov-93 01:44 AM
Member Since: 29-Nov-92
384 Total Posts


I like the European Gordeau and Jimmerson in the finals.


From: Rubber Raw
Date: 11-Nov-93 01:50 AM
Member Since: 29-Dec-92
354 Total Posts

I hear there's a guy named Ettish fighting in the next tournament who will whipe all these guys out.



posted by Fred   6:29 PM

Sabrutat's arrest 

Apparently it wasn't a DUI, but a drunk and disorderly that Sabrutat got arrested for. He is in the middle of this picture, holding a water bottle and running his mouth in front of the police. Apparently he got a little soused at a gay pride parade and started yelling, "Who's man enough for some nude grappling? Don't any of you American's have the balls?"

As there were childrend around, the cops weren't amused. The cops had enough of his bs and took him in

The police wanted to let him out of jail in the morning, but Sabrutat was so popular in the talent show he begged to stay for the whole weekend.

posted by Fred   5:41 PM

Fightchick Site is Up and Running 

Check her site out at Fight Chick. She would love to chat with you! The content of the site is good and the fight pics are cool. Best of luck to her.


posted by Shogun of Harlem   2:29 PM

Erin Toughill Interview Coming Soon! 

There will be an Erin Toughill Interview on Fightsport in the week or so. Look for it. In the mean time visit her site at Erin Toughill




Photo from www.Erintoughill.com




posted by Shogun of Harlem   1:53 PM

Keoni Koch vs Shaun Thingvold! 

Keoni Koch claims he can beat Mike Tyson. Here is his resume:

"My resume? I am 1342-6 in no holds barred grappling matches. I train 9 times a week. I know at least 50 subs on each limb, and I have trained with RJJ, pretty quick hands. I have had 2.5 threesomes with my wife and other women.I grew up in Iowa where wrestlers are plentiful so I am confident I could take Tyson down and punish him with good ground positioning and lightning like strikes. I have a 11 inch cock. Tysons my bitch."

Let's see him fight the "Steamroller" himself, Shaun Thingvold, and the winner gets a threesome with the other guy's girl. My money is on the legend!

posted by Shogun of Harlem   12:52 PM

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Souljacker A/K/A, Barry "Double Dip" Hodge Erupts Again! 

Double Dip has lost his mind over a simple question asked by respected MMA journalist Redneck.

The last time Double Dip's wife was discussed was in July at Fightsport.com, where her weight was a central issue in a heated (and one-sided) debate between Hodge and some Fightsport stalwarts. This time, Redneck asked Double Dip the following: "Is your wife from Africa?" (It should be noted that he never once mentioned her morbid obesity.)

Double Dip reacted to Redneck's innocuous question with a profanity-laced tirade.

Some direct quotes: "you are a sick racist hypocritical fuck"
"because out of all the peoples on this board he is biggest jakass"
"Redneck that is why you am the biggest bitch here and real pussy"

Since the particular forum on which this outburst occurred is inconsistent in applying its rules, it is doubtful that Double Dip will be reprimanded for his attack on Redneck. Kirik Jenness, owner of the site, was unavailable for comment.

posted by T   3:55 AM

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Sabrutat Arrested for DUI!!! 

Although it is unconfirmed at this time, my sources in Texas tell me that Stephen Arbutat (AKA Sabrutat) was recently arrested for a DUI!!! This is the reason he has not been online recently. From what I am told he blew a .12!!! Maybe he should have blew the Officer too and that way he could have went home!!! There is no court date set.

posted by Shogun of Harlem   1:44 AM

Monday, September 01, 2003

This Week's RETROCLASSIC 

This week's RETROCLASSIC is an old Machine May post. The year was 2001, and Machine May was down on his luck (and possibly in between jobs as a hired gun for multi-million dollar corporations).

Enjoy.

Subject: RE: INFO
From: MACHINE MAY
Date: 17-Jan-01 | 03:27 PM

Im not leaving Michigan.

Im moving to Grand Rapids, getting a job, and hopefully within the year getting my family back.

If I have to stay in my car... I will.

If I have to stay at a shelter... I will.

If I have to sleep in a box... I will.

My family is the ONLY thing I want. Not to be UFC champion. Not to be popular on this forum. Not to be anything but a better husband, father, and person than I have in the past.

For every step I take, I get knocked back 5. But I cant give up, because if I do, that is the day I finally die.

posted by T   1:27 AM

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