Beston's NHB Page

Welcome to Beston's No Holds Barred! The page was originally known as Thingvold's No Holds Barred. It was started years ago by Shogun of Harlem as a joke in dedication of the Internet's greatest 'Trash Talker', Shaun Andrew Thingvold, then years later the site was rededicated to Australian MMA legend Luke Beston. I want to make it clear that the only affiliation Shaun has with this page is when he sends us an e-mail or posts on the forum. If you are looking for him then leave a message for him on the 'Message Board'. Other than that we can not help you in any attempt to get a hold of him.

The news provided here is a little different. There are tons of news sources on the internet and if you don't know where to go then check out our links page. What we attempt to bring here is stuff that is not found at other places, but what we think might be interesting for Martial Art fans (and a little funny). Thanks for supporting us!

Here is a 'No Holds Barred' Biography of the legend, Shaun Andrew Thingvold. Read how this man became the greatest legend on the internet. Click Here

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Archived News 2001-2003 2000

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Other Happenings in NHB
News Not Found Elsewhere

Sunday, August 31, 2003

Robin Patterson Victorious,Sutton in The Hospital as a Result

In yet another internet challenge victory for Robin Patterson (he last guillotined The Predator several months ago) he TKO'd Team Tolerance leader Keith "sifu" Sutton with a single leg kick. Patterson later told anyone who would listen that he was paying keith back for years of online torment, and that he wasn't enough of a warrior to compete with Ze Patterson. His years of TKD training really paid off in this battle. According to eyewitness accounts Patterson used his NPP(Natural Punching Power) to set up this devastating leg kick. With Sifu Ferguson in his corner Ze Patterson will be a force to be reckoned with for years to come.

posted by Josh 5:00 PM

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Shiloh vs Levine off?

It appears that the highly anticipated superfight between Shiloh McIver and Jamie Levine may not take place after all. Levine, a resident of Orlando, Florida, is insisting on the bout taking place in Las Vegas, Nevada, at Frank Shamrock's upcoming Shootbox show . McIver will only fight in California and is demanding full video rights to the fight. Neither will budge.

McIver: "We fight in CA, I get all rights to the video, and I'll do it for free."
Levine: "Hey bitch boy, if travel is the issue then I will pay the ticket to fly you and a corner man out to vegas. I'm sure I can even get you a ride to the airport if your fag ass car won't make it there."

Will they or won't they fight? Stay tuned!

posted by Rainbowthief 6:05 AM

Beston's around the world!

I just checked the August traffic logs and while reading the list of the top ten countries from which our traffic originates, I saw some surprises. Here's the list:

1. U.S.A.
2. United Kingdom
3. Canada
4. Australia
5. Thailand
6. Japan
7. Sweden
8. Finland
9. France
10. Germany

Finland, Sweden and France? Who knew MMA trolling was popular there? Anyway, traffic has doubled from July to August, and as word about the lukebeston.tk domain spreads, it will grow even more. There's lots of cool shit planned for the site and we have six people on the staff now updating the news page, so the next goal is to crack Alexa's top ten MMA sites list.

posted by Rainbowthief 5:16 AM

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Erin Toughill is looking for a fight

Professional fighter Erin Toughill is looking for a boxing match.

She wrote the following:

"Looking for a female opponent in California or the surrounding states for a local boxing fight in early Sept. We are looking for a girl in the supermiddleweight division - so if you or anyone you know is interested PLEASE email us asap!! Thanks
norulesgirl77@msn.com erinfights@yahoo.com"

If you can, please help her out. As members of the MMA community, we need to help each other out where we can.

Erin Toughill

posted by T 4:54 PM

Aaron and Jonwell come out of the closet!

It looks like longtime MMA.TV members and N' Sync Wannabes, Aaron and Jonwell, have finally showed their true colors - pink! The story was broke on Fightsport.com (Html tap please) by American Ninja. The only question I have is - Which one of you two faygots is the catcher?

--submitted by Shogun of Harlem

posted by Rainbowthief 3:22 AM

Monday, August 25, 2003

Shiloh vs. Jamie Levine!

After days of intense negotiating, it now appears that these two warriors may finally square off to settle their differences.

The MMA world was initially shocked (and perhaps saddened) that two of its favorite sons would have such a public and bitter fallout. However, dismay is turning to anticipation as the rhetoric heats up.

More on this as it develops, but for now Levine gets the last word:

"shiloh,

You dont have to raise any money for this fight. You said you would fight and beat my ass for free anytime. So put up, agree to fight me in Vegas then. Give Johnny Walls your real name,phone number and address and he will have the Promoter of the MMA event get intouch with you. This offer is real and this is the only way to kick my ass infront of every one of the haters,shit talkers,keybourd fags,and your fans on the UG. The Promoters have read all the crap you talk on here and think that you should be given a chance to back up your words.

I have agreed on the bout with the Promoter and will be there on Nov 14th to fight you, that is if you have the balls now, or did they shrink up yet? If you dont agree on this you will not event be able to show your face anywhere in the world. This is the worlds most popular web sight and every knows what you look like and the crap you talk about me.

You will be known as the biggest coward for all the crap you talk and dont back up. If you take the fight,I will personally go to every gym that is within 100 miles from your house in California and put your picture up along with the word COWARD around you. So whats it gona be boy?

Jamie Levine"

posted by T 9:53 PM

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

BIG BIRD Called Out By FWChic!

"Be a man...face me."

With those incendiary words, FWChic stepped to a place that Phil Baroni is scared to go. She quickly learned, however, that she may have bitten off more than she can chew. BIG BIRD returned fire immediately, asking the hefty attention whore, "Shouldn't you be spending time with your kids and working on becoming a good mother instead of wasting this time on me?"

BIRD went on to remind FWChic that he is "one of the few forum members that isn't a possible father of your children." To complete the lesson, BIRD advised that he "would own Baroni in a boxing ring. MMA he would win because he could take me down and lay on me. But standing in a boxing match he doesn't last 3 rounds. He ran out of gas fighting a mexican deli worker in minute rounds. What would he do against an experienced amateur boxer with 3 minute rounds ? Answer get knocked out."

More on this breaking story as it develops.

FWChic:

posted by T 10:33 AM

Sunday, August 10, 2003

MACHINE MAY'S LIES UPDATED

1) Lived in his car for a year yet still had internet access.
2) Saw his best friend killed right in front of his eyes.
3) Made to watch his girlfriend get raped while he got tortured and had his toes broken.
4) Got his neck broke in Kung Fu class.
5) Oversees a business worth millions.
6) His drill seargent was afraid to fight him.
7) Never lost a street fight.
8) Kicked someone's butt who challenged him to an internet fight.
9) Hot chicks meet him and throw themselves at him.
10) Had to get a gun because of trolls.
11) Had to take a 500$/month job updating thumbnails for Kirik.
12) Tape Lord threatened to kill his children.
13) Women spy on him when he tans in the nude.
14) He saw a Tigers vs. Lions death match at the zoo as a boy and wept when the lions lost.
15) American Pie was based on him and his childhood friends.
16) He and all his Army buddies getting in stalls and passing down a Playboy magazine and waiting while each individual jacked off.
17) Going toe to toe in a boxing ring with Chris Byrd.
18) Claimed that he could take Floyd Mayweather Jr's best shot in high school. Later claimed that they weren't even in high school together.
19) Having a 156 IQ, having achieved that score twice on separate tests in college.

posted by Kamalesh 12:11 AM

Saturday, August 09, 2003

New staff member at LukeBeston.TK!

Old school troll Fred, a veteran of Shimaou's, The Grapple Forum, Bison's Place and the original Thingvold forum, as well as every major MMA board on the net, has joined the Beston's NHB team and will be contributing news to this page. We have some other big trolling names on the way too to insure that the page gets updated frequently with the news you need.

posted by Rainbowthief 11:47 PM

Machine May's biggest whopper

This is a debate I staryed recently on Fightsport. As you can see there's many to chose from.
These are your choices -

1) Lived in his car for a year.
2) Saw his best friend killed right in front of his eyes.
3) Had to watch while his girlfriend was raped.
4) Had his neck broke in Kung Fu class.
5) Overseas a business worth millions.
6) His drill seargent was afraid to fight him.
7) Never lost a street fight.
Kicked someone's butt who challenged him to an internet fight.
9) Hot chicks meet him and throw themselves at him.
10) Had to get a gun because of trolls.

Also suggested is that women constantly spy on him when he tans naked and that the American Pie film series was based on MM and his friends and their hijinks growing up. The sad thing is if you don't go along with his fantasies on the OG, you get deleted and banned.

posted by Fred 3:03 PM

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Skelboy Destoys Sabrutat!

Skelboy, creator of a wildly successful Lee Murray website (
http://www.freewebs.com/london_calling2), called out the resident alcoholic roofer of MMA.tv, Stef Sabrutat Abrutat. At issue was the repeated embarrassment to all proper Englishmen that Sabrutat represents. Sabrutat gave it his usual drunken best, but Skelboy clearly dominated the exchanges. Read more about it at
http://www.fightsport.com.

Stef "Sabrutat" Abrutat:

posted by T 10:09 PM

Kirik apologizes

After suffering the 12th site crash in the last 15 days at MMA.tv, owner Kirik Jenness issues an apology to both paying and non-paying members.

"I realise the page has gone done (sic) some the last six months. Every time I apologised, but apologies mean jack without action," Jenness explained, in a somewhat feeble attempt to ease the continued dissatisfaction of those who shelled out $25 for the privilege of HTML power.

It appears that MMA.tv crashes more than any other MMA-related website. Many have speculated as to why this occurs. The investigation continues.

posted by T 8:33 AM

New addition to Beston's NHB staff!

With SOH busy dropping bombs on terrorist scumbags, it was hard for me to have the newspage updated as often as I'd like. Plus, since a big part of our news consists of what's been happening at other MMA boards, I needed someone who's active on the scene and can report the hot news fast, so I've added Ted Johnson to the staff. Ted has been one of the best posters at Fightsport and I know he'll do a great job for LukeBeston.tk. Thanks, Ted!

posted by Rainbowthief 1:33 AM