Welcome to Beston's No Holds Barred! The page was originally known as Thingvold's No Holds Barred. It was started years ago by Shogun of Harlem as a joke in dedication of the Internet's greatest 'Trash Talker', Shaun Andrew Thingvold, then years later the site was rededicated to Australian MMA legend Luke Beston. I want to make it clear that the only affiliation Shaun has with this page is when he sends us an e-mail or posts on the forum. If you are looking for him then leave a message for him on the 'Message Board'. Other than that we can not help you in any attempt to get a hold of him.

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Here is a 'No Holds Barred' Biography of the legend, Shaun Andrew Thingvold. Read how this man became the greatest legend on the internet. Click Here

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

Guess the Mexican 


Saturday, June 02, 2007

Pat Militech, the Investment Broker (or Scripps Spelling Bee Champion) 

I come back for a few days and I can find shit to talk about left and right.

Jinx, resident Mexican-American and poster of licking buttholes actually gave some good invest advice:


From: Jinx
Date: 06/01/07 03:11 PM
Member Since: 01/01/2001


THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER STOCKS WITH BETTER PROSPECTS THAN THIS PIECE OF SHIT. If you like to gamble so much with your money, put your money in RBY. It's still a gamble, but at least RBY actually has money, has one of the best gold mining guys on their team and is actually cheap to buy.

Why are you going to go after a failing company that is hemmorhaging money and has to BORROW from their shareholder just to stay above ground?
You want a turnaround story? BUY TIVO. They have won a patent case against pretty much every DVR company on the market. They are also CHEAP. They are also hemmorhaging money but unlike IFL, they actually have a product that is selling and have the patents to back it.

Fuck man, there are so many other better gambles out there. Why, out of hundreds of places to put your money would you pick this piece of trash?


And now the Investment advice from Pat Militech, the Croation Sedation. When Pat talks (just like when he fights), people fall alseep.

From: croatian
Date: 06/01/07 03:21 PM
Member Since: 06/10/2003

Jinx,
No matter what it is in life that people try to accomplish, there will always be those that are critics.

It must be a miserable life knowing you never put your ass on the line for anything. You calling the IFL a peice of shit translates into you calling everyone associated with the IFL peices of shit.

Anyone who talks this way and wishes ill will towards people attempting something good, speaks volumes about the person who issues the statement.

You have explained yourself in full, no need for mentioning your name.


I guess Pat does not read too well. Someone gives investment advice and Pat Militech attacks the guys credibilty about not putting it on the line for anything. Pat's feelings must really be hurt. I suggest he hire an investment broker and someone to turdor him in spelling. Doesn't he know that "I before E, except after C"?


Friday, June 01, 2007

Help Dhira Yesufu get a new wet suit 

I would like to be the first that will fully support any financial endeavors that will allow the Cross-Eyed Candyman to buy a new wet suit. How bad ass would CECM be walking into the ring wearing the Psycho II Zem while the Candyman Music is balsting? And what happens when the fight starts? Everybody will be slap fighting and thigh kicking! Come on everyone, the OG put together more than $1000 for Hookwinked to pay her rent and not a single person can give a dime for the guy to buy a new wetsuit. Check out the Psycho II Zem and then you will want one too.




This suit has it all. Look at the Batman like chest protection. How about the silver lining around the nutsack. The suit even has kneepads. How sweet would the Psycho II Zem be in on the Cross-Eyed Candyman while he was sporting a new UFC Belt around his waist? He could even have a boomerang and some mustard gas in the belt.

Please send all inquiries to the Shogun of Harlem.


MMA Greennamer attacks SOH's creditials 

Bodog Commentator and accomplished MMA fighter Paul "The Mauler" Lezenby (1-6) has stood on his soapbox and thumbed his nose at all MMA fans. According to him, unless you are a fighter you have no right to make comments about those that do fight. I guess the $49.95 for the PPV doesn't entitle you talk about the fight at all. Of course I am sure Paul Lezenby (1-6, 2 loses by TKO) has never done this in his personal life. I can really see the self-righteous one on Sunday saying "Despite throwing 3 interceptions, Brad Johnson makes a mean keiche." Hey Paul Lezenby (1-6, 2 loses by submission), this is America and people are given the right to free speech. To make matters worse, Paul Lizenby (1-6, 1 lose by choke) then attacks me over comments I made that Kimbo Slice is nothing more than an internet sensation and has not beaten anyone but overweight bouncers in a backyard. Lets not forget this gem of wisdom from Paul Lezenby (1-6, 1 lose by decision):

So if a former champion of Croquet or Chess decided to fight MMA, would you say that Kimbo doesn't deserve to fight him either?

My much later response:

As for your defense of chess and boxing. Boxing is similiar to mma in WAY more a manner than chess. Perhaps I will feel differently if Bobby Fisher moved into an armbar after his opponent called "Check!".

I never did answer his questions about my fight creditials. Well, Paul Lezenby (1-7, 1 win by decision), you have one more win than me. Of course, in Machine May fashion, when I make my MMA debut, we will be tied.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Halloween fight 

This story was emailed to me by Predator -

Last year I decided to stay home and give out candy for trick or treat. I guess it reminds me of the days when I used to do it when I was young. We used to have a lot of fun, running around the neighborhood, raising hell and getting candy. So I ponied up about $100 last year and bought some candy to pass out.

One thing I've noticed the last few years is that more and more apartment dwellers are loading up in cars and driving their kids around to different neighborhoods. It can be white trash, blacks, or Mexicans, you never know, but often the Mexicans like to pack about 8 kids in the same car. I watch them pour out of their cars to trick or treat in a neighborhood that's not even their own and I shake my head in disgust. Still, I have kind of a soft spot for kids, so I give them candy anyway.

So last Halloween we ended up with a ton of kids trick or treating. I even noticed this one girl trick or treated at my house twice. I said to her, "What the fuck? Didn't I see you here before?" I ended up giveing her more candy anyway. Like I said, I have a soft spot for kids.

I also noticed the aprtment kids arriving in cars. A lot of them seemed to be Mexican. I don't need to mention that we have a big illegal problem in Arizona. Personally I support an electric fence from San Diego to Brownsville, along with the National Guard stationed along the fence with shoot on sight orders for anyone who tries to cross.

So I had a group of about 8 Mexican kids and an old man come to my door to trick or treat. The old man was somewhere in his 60's and I think he chaperoned the kids while the parent waited in the car. I wasn't happy about this invasion into my neighborhood, but I gave all the kids candy.

Then something happened which pissed me off. This old fuck was holding one of those plastic pumpkin containers and he held it up in front of me. I couldn't believe he was trick or treating. I would have told him off, but it was clear he couldn't speak English. There's something sacred about Halloween to me and I was angry that some adult was intruding on something for the kids.

I decided instead of giving him a treat I'd give him a trick. I threw a short, crisp right hand to his chin. I took a lot off the punch because I knew he was old, but the punch landed square on his chin and he was out before he hit the ground. There he sat, unconcious on my porch, while the kids ran back to see what happened. I'm not even sure if they realized he had been punched.

I've got to say, looking at him there, out cold, made me feel really bad. I'm a professional fighter. People look up to me. Here I had just ko'd some senior citizen. Illegal or not, this is not the example I want to set. I felt ashamed. If I had it to do over again, I would just slap him.

I didn't know what to do, so I shook him until he woke up. When I got him to his feet, I took $20 out of my wallet and put it in his front pocket. I know this represents about a week's pay to your average Mexican, so I'm sure it cheered him up. I kwen he couldn't call the cops because he was illegal, but I still felt the 20 was fair.

I can only say that I learned a lesson as a professional fighter and a role model to never act like a thug.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Baldomir-Gatti 

I like Baldomir in this fight. I think Gatti's such a fan favorite that it causes people to overestimate his skills. Yes his power is always dangerous, but keep this in mind, Baldomir's been stopped only once in his career and that was in 1994. Zab Judah who is quicker than Gatti, never even came close to hurting him. It doesn't mean that it couldn't happen because Gatti is unpredictable, but it's unlikely. In fact I think Baldomir has a better chance at scoring a stoppage. He's a natural welter, unlike Gatti, who once fought at feather and although he has few knockouts, he seems to be improving with age. He hurt Judah several times. Keep in mined also that Gatti has a tendency to cut and swell around the eyes, as well as throw his shoulder out from time to time. Those things could come into play over a 12 round fight. If Gatti is to win I think it will have to be one of his blood and guts style fights. The powers that be may feel that they can make more money off Gatti, so anything remotely close may end up a split decision for Gatti. Overall though, I expect Baldomir to win, by late stoppage or clear decision. I hear the odds are currently 2 to 1 for Gatti. I'd bet this fight if I were in Vegas.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

TUF 4 Rumors Running Rampant 

Fightsport and Sherdog are ruining the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter by publishing the results of the fights before they are aired. We have learned that the 170 pound finale will feature Serra vs. Lytle, and the 185 pound finale will feature Lutter vs. Cote. We have also learned some of the results of fights that occur early on in the season, including Pete Sell's unanimous decision victory over Charles McCarthy (pictured below).

It remains to be seen whether Fightsport and Sherdog have shared this information in a joint effort to spoil the next edition of the UFC's reality show.


UFC Fighter Charles McCarthy

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Ibragimov-Brock 

I'm picking Ibragimov in an upset. I've never seen Timur fight and his cousin Sultan is more well known, but there are things that point to him winning. His unbeaten record, and extensive amateur background and Panama Lewis in his corner. As crooked as Lewis is, he's a great trainer and put him together with a hard working east block fighter and it's probably an effective combo. Brock's interesting because to look at his 28-0 record with 22 ko's it would make you think he's a knockout artist, but he's really not. He's more of a technician that will occasionally land a bomb. His workman like decision over McCline may have showcased him the most accurately - good defense, decent power, but not overwhelming. This fight will probably be a close decision one way or another. Brock's good, but I don't know if he is the American prospect people are waiting for. One interesting young American heavyweight is David "Nino" Rodriguez. He's already beaten tough Travis Fulton - http://www.boxrec.com/boxer_display.php?boxer_id=047041
In the other fight I like Julio by knockout.

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