Beston's NHB Page

Welcome to Beston's No Holds Barred! The page was originally known as Thingvold's No Holds Barred. It was started years ago by Shogun of Harlem as a joke in dedication of the Internet's greatest 'Trash Talker', Shaun Andrew Thingvold, then years later the site was rededicated to Australian MMA legend Luke Beston. I want to make it clear that the only affiliation Shaun has with this page is when he sends us an e-mail or posts on the forum. If you are looking for him then leave a message for him on the 'Message Board'. Other than that we can not help you in any attempt to get a hold of him.

The news provided here is a little different. There are tons of news sources on the internet and if you don't know where to go then check out our links page. What we attempt to bring here is stuff that is not found at other places, but what we think might be interesting for Martial Art fans (and a little funny). Thanks for supporting us!

Here is a 'No Holds Barred' Biography of the legend, Shaun Andrew Thingvold. Read how this man became the greatest legend on the internet. Click Here

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

Guess the Mexican

posted by Fred 12:44 AM

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Pat Militech, the Investment Broker (or Scripps Spelling Bee Champion)

I come back for a few days and I can find shit to talk about left and right.

Jinx, resident Mexican-American and poster of licking buttholes actually gave some good invest advice:

From: Jinx
Date: 06/01/07 03:11 PM
Member Since: 01/01/2001

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER STOCKS WITH BETTER PROSPECTS THAN THIS PIECE OF SHIT. If you like to gamble so much with your money, put your money in RBY. It's still a gamble, but at least RBY actually has money, has one of the best gold mining guys on their team and is actually cheap to buy.

Why are you going to go after a failing company that is hemmorhaging money and has to BORROW from their shareholder just to stay above ground?
You want a turnaround story? BUY TIVO. They have won a patent case against pretty much every DVR company on the market. They are also CHEAP. They are also hemmorhaging money but unlike IFL, they actually have a product that is selling and have the patents to back it.

Fuck man, there are so many other better gambles out there. Why, out of hundreds of places to put your money would you pick this piece of trash?

And now the Investment advice from Pat Militech, the Croation Sedation. When Pat talks (just like when he fights), people fall alseep.

From: croatian
Date: 06/01/07 03:21 PM
Member Since: 06/10/2003

Jinx,
No matter what it is in life that people try to accomplish, there will always be those that are critics.

It must be a miserable life knowing you never put your ass on the line for anything. You calling the IFL a peice of shit translates into you calling everyone associated with the IFL peices of shit.

Anyone who talks this way and wishes ill will towards people attempting something good, speaks volumes about the person who issues the statement.

You have explained yourself in full, no need for mentioning your name.

I guess Pat does not read too well. Someone gives investment advice and Pat Militech attacks the guys credibilty about not putting it on the line for anything. Pat's feelings must really be hurt. I suggest he hire an investment broker and someone to turdor him in spelling. Doesn't he know that "I before E, except after C"?

posted by Shogun of Harlem 11:59 PM

Friday, June 01, 2007

Help Dhira Yesufu get a new wet suit

I would like to be the first that will fully support any financial endeavors that will allow the Cross-Eyed Candyman to buy a new wet suit. How bad ass would CECM be walking into the ring wearing the Psycho II Zem while the Candyman Music is balsting? And what happens when the fight starts? Everybody will be slap fighting and thigh kicking! Come on everyone, the OG put together more than $1000 for Hookwinked to pay her rent and not a single person can give a dime for the guy to buy a new wetsuit. Check out the Psycho II Zem and then you will want one too.

This suit has it all. Look at the Batman like chest protection. How about the silver lining around the nutsack. The suit even has kneepads. How sweet would the Psycho II Zem be in on the Cross-Eyed Candyman while he was sporting a new UFC Belt around his waist? He could even have a boomerang and some mustard gas in the belt.

Please send all inquiries to the Shogun of Harlem.

posted by Shogun of Harlem 11:59 PM

MMA Greennamer attacks SOH's creditials

Bodog Commentator and accomplished MMA fighter Paul "The Mauler" Lezenby (1-6) has stood on his soapbox and thumbed his nose at all MMA fans. According to him, unless you are a fighter you have no right to make comments about those that do fight. I guess the $49.95 for the PPV doesn't entitle you talk about the fight at all. Of course I am sure Paul Lezenby (1-6, 2 loses by TKO) has never done this in his personal life. I can really see the self-righteous one on Sunday saying "Despite throwing 3 interceptions, Brad Johnson makes a mean keiche." Hey Paul Lezenby (1-6, 2 loses by submission), this is America and people are given the right to free speech. To make matters worse, Paul Lizenby (1-6, 1 lose by choke) then attacks me over comments I made that Kimbo Slice is nothing more than an internet sensation and has not beaten anyone but overweight bouncers in a backyard. Lets not forget this gem of wisdom from Paul Lezenby (1-6, 1 lose by decision):

So if a former champion of Croquet or Chess decided to fight MMA, would you say that Kimbo doesn't deserve to fight him either?

My much later response:

As for your defense of chess and boxing. Boxing is similiar to mma in WAY more a manner than chess. Perhaps I will feel differently if Bobby Fisher moved into an armbar after his opponent called "Check!".

I never did answer his questions about my fight creditials. Well, Paul Lezenby (1-7, 1 win by decision), you have one more win than me. Of course, in Machine May fashion, when I make my MMA debut, we will be tied.

posted by Shogun of Harlem 11:07 PM

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Halloween fight

This story was emailed to me by Predator -

Last year I decided to stay home and give out candy for trick or treat. I guess it reminds me of the days when I used to do it when I was young. We used to have a lot of fun, running around the neighborhood, raising hell and getting candy. So I ponied up about $100 last year and bought some candy to pass out.

One thing I've noticed the last few years is that more and more apartment dwellers are loading up in cars and driving their kids around to different neighborhoods. It can be white trash, blacks, or Mexicans, you never know, but often the Mexicans like to pack about 8 kids in the same car. I watch them pour out of their cars to trick or treat in a neighborhood that's not even their own and I shake my head in disgust. Still, I have kind of a soft spot for kids, so I give them candy anyway.

So last Halloween we ended up with a ton of kids trick or treating. I even noticed this one girl trick or treated at my house twice. I said to her, "What the fuck? Didn't I see you here before?" I ended up giveing her more candy anyway. Like I said, I have a soft spot for kids.

I also noticed the aprtment kids arriving in cars. A lot of them seemed to be Mexican. I don't need to mention that we have a big illegal problem in Arizona. Personally I support an electric fence from San Diego to Brownsville, along with the National Guard stationed along the fence with shoot on sight orders for anyone who tries to cross.

So I had a group of about 8 Mexican kids and an old man come to my door to trick or treat. The old man was somewhere in his 60's and I think he chaperoned the kids while the parent waited in the car. I wasn't happy about this invasion into my neighborhood, but I gave all the kids candy.

Then something happened which pissed me off. This old fuck was holding one of those plastic pumpkin containers and he held i